5 herbs to get you through Grief and Heartbreak

Yarrow and mugwort flowers, herbs for grief
Yarrow and mugwort flowers, herbs for grief

A Samhain Reflection on Herbal Medicine as we remember our ancestors

Samhain, the Celtic New Year, is a time of transition, reflection, and honouring our ancestors. A period when the veil between the worlds thins, allowing us to connect with those who have passed. This liminal space can be particularly poignant for those grieving a loss, whether it be a loved one, a relationship, or a dream.

Grief is complex and yet so deeply human. Plants give us physical medicine, and also emotional and spiritual healing which is a great match for the intense and often cyclical waves that grief unleashes on our bodies and psyche. Here are some herbs that I use to traverse the varied landscape of grief.

Let’s start with heart healing herbs. A broken heart is often the foundation of our experience of loss:

  • Hawthorn: Often referred to as the "heart herb," Hawthorn supports cardiovascular health. Find hawthorn trees old and wizened in windswept fields and ancient hedgerows. It is grounding medicine. Able to bring your energy down from an over-active mind, made lively by emotional stress, to your heart centre. When we can quiet our mind and make room for the wisdom of our heart to be heard, it makes facing processing grief a little bit gentler.
  • Rose: Long a symbol of love and compassion, rose is calming to the nervous system and uplifting for the spirit. Grief is a time to be gentle with yourself; fall into the delicate petals and sweet aroma of rose. Let her embrace you in a gentle hug and softly sooth your heart as it heals.

 

Grief can make us feel like we are in a mental fog and the emotional toil is exhausting, and so you may want to turn to:

 

  • Rosemary – A herb long associated with memory. Our memories hold many moments that can unleash a cascade of grief through our bodies.  Rosemary boosts circulation which can help clear your head and give you a restorative energy boost. Rosemary is also a great aid to digestion. Our digestive tract is lined with neurological tissue, entwining our emotional and digestive worlds together. When we have help to digest our food, we can resource our body to better cope with stress. When we are better nourished, we have more energy to digest what has happened to cause us grief and face our new version of reality.

Grief can feel lonely and isolating - remember, you are not alone:

  • Mugwort – a herb known for helping us connect with our dreams, drinking or smoking mugwort can help you remember your dreams and dream more vividly. The liminal space between dream and waking and the expansive world of our dreams is ripe for connection to the spiritual realm where those that have passed may visit and also connecting to our memories and subconscious where we can often find insight and solace during times of grief and connection to our loved ones, wherever they may be. (FYI: Do not use mugwort if you are pregnant.)

Grief leaves an imprint on our soul and psyche and often requires us to re-invent ourselves beyond what we have lost:

  • Yarrow - A versatile herb with a wide range of uses, Yarrow can be used for its protective and cleansing properties. Sometimes it can feel impossible to surmount our grief. Yarrow can help to clear negative and stagnant energy and shift and strengthen your aura, helping you to integrate your loss and face the future with grace and resilience. (Another herb best avoided in pregnancy.)

 

Here are some ideas for incorporating herbs into your grieving process:

Above all, be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions. Perhaps through connecting with nature, out walking or swimming, and by using some of these herbs you can find solace and strength during this challenging time.

If you are grieving for ecocide and genocide, humanity and our planet, remember that the depth of our grief is a reflection of the depth of our love. My hope is that you can find strength not to hide but to face your grief, feel your love fully and use it as a call to action.

May we build a world that makes our ancestors past and future proud, and may you hold your loved ones close this Samhain.

rosemary, dog rose and hawthorn berries; herbs for grief
rosemary, dog rose and hawthorn berries; herbs for grief